I'm
certainly not a poetry expert either, but I agree with the previous poster and have a few
observations of my own.
I think you do have a poetic sensibility, as you
include some more subtle elements without overusing them--such asin "Mystery always
misguides me." (This is my favorite line, by the way--and I'd like it more if you left out
always, which is a little hyperbolic and really not necessary to your interesting
meaning.)
I thought you were off to a great metaphorical start with the idea
of a torch--but then you just kept moving. I'm thinking truth as a torch, and am mentally
preparing for some comparisons. Of course they never come. Perhaps that's because it's not a
particularly apt , perhaps that's because it's forgotten in the mix of all the other
images...I'm not sure.
One thing I do try to encourage any poetry writers
to do is to use their punctuation effectively. Not all poetry utilizes punctuation, of course,
and nothing says it should. If...
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